You may, or may not (depending on a) whether you grew up in the UK and b) are as ancient as the Choob), remember a 1980s confection/biscuit called 5-4-3-2-1.
It was snack that promised much – “five treats in every bar”. Which sounded great… until you found out that the five treats were:
1. Poor-quality chocolate.
2. Dodgy imitation Rice Krispies
3. “Soft” caramel with the consistency of half-set superglue
4. A wafer-sandwich biscuit.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: “How can someone who doesn’t know the difference between ‘four’ and ‘five’ manage to plug in a computer, never mind create a wonderful blog like this one?”
But it’s not my fault – the makers of the biscuit counted the component parts of the wafer biscuit – the actual wafers and the “fondant” stuff sandwiched between them – as two separate “treats”.
Even as a kid, I thought that was cheating and they should have been taken to task by the Advertising Standards Agency – and if anything, my bitterness about this disappointing deception has just festered and multiplied through the years.
That all said, I did really like the 5-4-3-2-1 and wish you could still get them. But that doesn’t mean I forgive them for short-changing me of my treats, to the tune of 20 per cent.
Anyway, here is an early advert for the snack which is most notable first, for the insanely catchy song (an entire generation can STILL remember the component “treats” thanks to that song) and second for a fleeting appearance by comic-turned game show host Ted Rogers taking the mickey out of his iconic 3-2-1 hand gesture.
This later version of the ad still had the same annoying tune but dropped poor old Ted:
Incidentally, the song in the advert was an adapted version of an old Manfred Mann song of the same name. Here’s a rare recording of a TV performance:
With thanks to Boab Chambers for reminding me of this classic advert.